According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
