my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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