I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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