At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
