After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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