Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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