will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The best revenge is premature balding
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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