If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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