It's like a parade of train wrecks.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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