Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
