I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
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