I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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