all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
