Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
