I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
