Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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