I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you inspire me to be a worse person
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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