I don't think brook has ever known best
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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