and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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