Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
