hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
