The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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