i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
