i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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