I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
