Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
