I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
