i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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