I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
