It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
wow bdsm is so cute
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
