so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I lost the right to judge tonight
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
