She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
