Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
