ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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