So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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