How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
