Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
