she looked like the before picture.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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