At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
