You made me cry and you don't even care
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
