That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
