Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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