You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
