More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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