im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
