I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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