I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
