Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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