I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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