i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
