Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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